A Sufferer's Plight

We do not fear what people say
when we tell them we have M.E.
for they cannot believe what they cannot feel,
of what they cannot see.

WE know what it is to feel dragged out,
dizzy and just not right,
And to convince others
that we are ill,
is always a terrible fight.

It would be so nice to trade places,
with those
who insist upon saying, "get up off your duff and
quit your playing,
these feelings I want you to shed;
for they're not real,
there's NOTHING to feel"......
"IT'S REALLY ALL IN YOUR HEAD"!

By William A Radmore

LISTEN

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel
that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve
my problems,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Not talk or do - just hear me.

Advice is cheap: 50 cents will get you Dorothy Dis and
Dr. Spock in the same newspaper.

And I can DO for myself; I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not
helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and
need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do
feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to
convince
you and can get about the business of
understanding what's
behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.

So, please listen and just hear me, and if you
want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn; and I'll listen to
you.

Anonymous

A Poem from Amy

Somebody please help M.E
"I's all in your mind" The doctors say,
"Depression and anger, it'll soon go away,
They say I lie, why can't they see?
Somebody please help M.E.

No-one seems to know the hurt I feel,
They say I can cope and the wounds will heal,
But I want my life, how it used to be,
Somebody please help M.E

It's not a nightmare, I know it's real,
No-one could dream up the pain I feel,
I'm in these dark woods, I'm scared, I can't see,
Somebody please help M.E

My mates go clubbing, all through the night,
While I lie at home, the frustration I fight,
They're so healthy, why can't I be?
Somebody please help M.E

They physical pains won't be here forever,
But the mental ones will leave me never,
I'm still so young, I should be free,
Somebody has to come and help M.E

Amy (15)

INVISIBLE DISABILITY AWARENESS

ME ... and YOU

I can't dance and I can't sing.
Sometimes I can't do much of anything.
But I can watch and enjoy the antics of others.
Especially those of my sisters and brothers.

I can laugh and cry right along with you
Even if there is a lot I can't physically do.

I can't mow the lawn or shovel the snow.
But I can plant flowers and bushes and watch them grow.
And see them bloom and get very tall
From the beginning of Spring right through to the Fall.

I can't jump in a car and go for a ride.
I can't go for a walk so I stay inside.
Sometimes I have a chauffer to sweep me away
So I can do some of the things you can do every day.

My body may have betrayed me
My mind sometimes gets defective
No one is more disappointed than I
in the changes that are now effective.

But remember....
My eyes can still see
the many hues of the sky
The sunsets of the day
that slowly fade away

The hundred shades of green
all the beauty of life
All this can be seen
even among the daily strife.

I can still smell the freshness of cut grass
or of blooming roses

All the scents that tell me
That I'm still alive
and all that it poses
that I will survive.

And my ears can still hear
and I can still listen
I am always there in spirit
even if I can't be there in person.

For all of those in my life
and in my heart
For all of those that I love
I'll always be a part.

I can still feel and I can still be
Not the same but a new me.

If I'm ever needed I can invisibly be there
To lend a hand to show that I care.
And to let you know you're never alone
That I can still be a friend that we can still share.

Friends and family think I still can
But they're strong and healthy
So they don't understand.
I'm their sister, daughter, friend or lover

But they don't really know me
Or know that everything I do
I do in sheer agony and the stripping
of all my energy.

To say, "I love you" and mean it
Back it up and prove it.
Show that you care by your behavior
and actions.

That's the only way I will know
your true intentions.

Be there to light the path for someone you care.
Make me believe that it does not matter
whether I can or I can't jump in a car
or go for a walk.

That maybe all I can do is sit and watch
listen and see enjoy and be
without feeling guilty knowing that's okay, too.

Just be there to let me know
That I still count for something
For what I am and for what I'm not
irregardless of how good I'm looking.

Never forget about the one that you care
I may be invisibly disabled but I am still here.

So reach out your hand and give me your touch
Letting me know I mean so much.

Fill yourself with understanding, compassion and support
It'll make your life richerand my life much fuller
Because you're in it and we're in it together.

Cynthia T. Callahan

November 9, 1993
copyright

Founder of the disability support channel #LifeChallenges

on IRC Anothernet.

The Real Me

I feel like a prisoner
Chained behind my happy facade.
I cannot let you know the Real Me.
So I hide behind my wall,
And slowly let myself believe
That I am what I profess.
I feel so fake, so unreal.
After you left, the Real Me died,
The Real Me was put behind this wall
A wall so thick and so high
That not even a ball and chain
Can break through.
But now the wall has a crack,
And as the crack widens
More of the Real Me escapes.
It frightens me to think
How you will react
To the New Me.
The New Me is very different
From the identity I have
Portrayed to you.
She is the one who care
And can be hurt.
She is the one who can cry
Without being ashamed
She is, the New Me.

© Christi Calvert Brogan,
1997 brogan@txdirect.net